You guys will never last in Top Gun!
Your team doesn’t have what it takes!
You’re only freshman!
To all the haters and losers (of which there were many) I can happily report that team quadruple Ns, the grittiest group of man children you have ever laid eyes on, burst onto the Top Gun scene to start the season 1-0. Lets take a look back at how it all went down:
The 8pm start time was tough with the Sox already on their way to evening up the series at one but no excuses- got to the field 5 minutes before start time.
Pregame “How many fingers behind the back” Controversy
Not saying there was any collusion but there was absolutely no hesitation from our opponents when guessing how many fingers were behind the referee’s back. With a 50/50 chance of getting the ball I would’ve had Tommy (a.k.a- Intramural Gronk) from the honors college (nerd) run through all the algorithms to see what the best option was (either 1 or 2). The instant correct call was fishy to say the least but would it cost us the game? No.
Absolutely no strategy going in other than to play the game like it was meant to be played; like a couple of guys being dudes. Lets take a look at some of the individual performances in the 20-8 victory:
Tommy “Intramural Gronk” DeLello
-Caught a long bomb down the field and made an interception that had people arguing over whether a man with D1 football talent should be allowed to play intramural.
Jonah “Relentless Pursuit” Giaquinto
-These eyes haven’t seen a more relentless pass rusher since Bobby Boucher showed up at halftime to help the Mud Dogs win the Bourbon Bowl. Mama says foosball is for the devil- but it’s also for Jonah.
Matt “QB1” Panacopoulos
-Not to be confused with the lovechild of Mike Vick, LeGarrette Blount, and Bo Jackson, Matt played a stellar game both offensively and defensively. Definitely MVP of game 1. HOWEVAH (Stephen A. Smith voice) he stole an INT from Alec “Renaissance Man” Gibbs. Is Matt a selfish player? Tune in next time to find out.
Alec “Renaissance Man” Gibbs
Alec displayed an ability to play the game at a high level on both sides of the ball. He’s an MVP candidate in games to come and I’m not just saying that because he has the Josh Allen “looks good in shorts” factor.
John “The Brow” Agnitti
-Not many people volunteer to be a blocker in flag football but not many people are like “The Brow”. Fearless blocking and deceivingly quick on the check down as seen by a 40+ yard TD scamper.
Brian “Club Hand” Ghostlaw
-After suffering what many are calling the worst broken bone injury of all time (sorry Kevin Ware) to his wrist, few expected Ghostlaw to continue with his team. Sure enough he is there game one. A true team first guy.
Matt “Silent Assassin” Martin
-Matt sneakily put together a nice performance in week 1 scoring the first TD of the season.
Michael “Presh” Presho
An offensive player with true potential but a stellar night on the defensive side of the ball. 10+ flag pulls minimum. Reminded me of a Ray Lewis (without the murder) type player.
Eli “Speedy slot guy” Gobbi
A speedster in the slot is exactly what every good flag football team needs.
Me “slow but high football IQ slot guy”
Early candidate for GM of the year. No dropped passes (never have never will). Most claps on the team. Pulled groin and broken hips after the game; no complaints. #MoneyManziel #BBB
I wouldn’t mess with this team. 1-0. Lets go.