Laundry Room Rules

One of the greatest movies ever made is “The Big Lebowski” and in it is the greatest quote of all-time:

“Smokey this is not ‘Nam this is the laundry room there are rules”

I never really understood the meaning behind this scene until walking into the UMass laundry room. Apparently some people think they are above laundry room law. But maybe they aren’t purposefully breaking the very sensitive rules of our society on purpose. Perhaps they just don’t understand the rules and regulations a shared laundry room has to have. Thus, (very classy use of “thus”) it is time to make these rules abundantly clear:

Rule #1- Never use more than one machine at a time

But I have three loads worth!

But nobody else is using them!

But I have to separate my whites and darks!

The long-lost 11th commandment states “Thou shall not use three washing machines at the same time” and for good reason. If you have three loads worth? Do your laundry sooner. If nobody else is using them? Doesn’t matter. If you want to separate your whites and darks? You sound racist to me.

Rule #2- Don’t leave your laundry in the washer/dryer

This may be the worst offense of all. Leaving your clothes in a machine for more than 3 minutes and 30 seconds after the time is up should be a crime punishable by imprisonment. Anyone waiting for a machine more than the allotted buffer time has every right to take those clothes and throw them on the ground.


Rule #3- Never take someone’s clothes out before 3 minute 30 second buffer time

It can be tempting to immediately take one’s clothes out from the machine but for the sake of human compas- just kidding. Honestly the only reason for this rule is for your own sake. It’s all fun and games taking someone else’s clothes out until they walk in on you with a handful of their “undergarments”. Would hate to see someone become a certified perv over one broken rule.

And that’s about all I have to say about that. Have a day




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s