Top Five Reasons UMass Will Beat Coastal Carolina

With no UMass football last week- Saturday just wasn’t the same. Thank god there is only one bye week a season because my heart simply couldn’t handle one more. It’s a big one this week; family weekend. There is also a 0.0% chance of a loss this week.

Lets see why:

#1- Coastal Carolina’s Mascot is the Chanticleer

Is Chanticleer the worst mascot ever created? I really can’t say because I have no idea what a ‘Chanticleer’ is. If your football team is represented by a name that sounds like it’s a fancy light fixture there can’t be any respect given.

Advantage: Minuteman

#2- Family Over Everything


You’re absolutely right Dom and everyone knows family weekend brings the good juju. Coastal is going to come in all high and mighty until… BAM! Post tailgate aggressive parents screaming at them from all angles in the stands. It’s a no brainer here.

Advantage: Minutemen

#3- South Carolina was the 8th state to enter the Union

Massachusetts was the 6th. And just like our state’s ability to beat our opponents to statehood we will be beating them up and down the field all day long. It is an undeniable equivalency that can’t be argued against.

Advantage: Minutemen

#4- Coastal is located near Myrtle beach

A convenient place for recreational fun or a major distraction to a football team? I have to go with the latter. There is no time for playing in the sand when the game is played in the trenches.

Advantage: Minutemen

#5- Bowl or Bust 

The Minutemen know tomorow’s game has some bowl implications. The next two games after this are against little brother UConn and Liberty. In other words? Automatic wins. The Amherst boys will show up tomorrow; book it.

Advantage: Minutemen