A ‘NNNN’ Halloween Spectacular

I just read a short horror story in the fine UMass Collegian and I thought what better way to celebrate Halloween than to post one of my own famous fables as well

“The Saturday of Halloweekend”

It is a crisp Saturday night in the spooky town of Amherst. The streets run rampant with students dressed in the most original costumes you can imagine. Girls dressed as unicorns (what a concept). Guys in their favorite athlete’s jersey (not just anybody can pull it off). Everything feels right in the world!

Until it doesn’t.

There is a boy seen in a fraternity. He imagines himself dancing with the skills of none other than Michael Jackson and talking as smoothly as Matthew McConaughey himself.

“Alright, alright, alright” he majestically whispers.

He starts talking to a girl and all of a sudden things are starting to get fuzzy. The Matthew McConaughey of 15 minutes ago is quickly turning into Jim Lahey from Trailer Park Boys.

But he doesn’t realize it.


“Oh thank god it was all a dream”

He wishes it was.

The fuzzy memories start coming back to him and the snap stories confirm it.

“Why did I jump off the balcony?” he ponders.

“Why did I start that fight?” he begs to know.

“Why was I looking myself in the mirror singing Mo Bamba in the form of a one-act play?” he says as he questions his willingness to go on in life.

He goes to the dining hall to drown his sorrows in pizza for breakfast (at 3pm in the afternoon) when he runs into his friend from the night before.

“Man that was some night huh?” he says uncomfortably.

“You don’t remember much do you?” his friend chuckles before adding “You do at least remember your costume for the second half of the night… don’t you?”


“You were Gibby from iCarly”

“Well that’s the least of my worries”

“Naked Gibby”

And he was never heard from again.


Happy Halloween





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