My Favorite Type of Instagram Account

Girl.jpgI know what you’re thinking.

We get it Pat you have beautiful models chomping at the bit to get into your famed Instagram account.

And yes, I must reveal I have had tons of experience with models in the past (you wouldn’t know them they go to another school) -but that is not the point of this blog. This  is a warning to all those out there who might fall victim to believing these models actually want to know about your big nights out or anything else that could be equated to even slightly caring about your life.

I can say from experience:

They do not.

I actually envy the growth process of these accounts because the formula is so god damn simple. I figure I should lay out the method for guys but also for any girl who thinks they have what it takes to pull off the heist.

The 3 step plan to gaining thousands of horny dudes followers on Instagram:

  1. Follow 3 to 5 hundred accounts a day

Fairly simple first step. Although it is important to note that anything over this number is not going to yield as good of results. People like to feel special. An account with 20,000 followers that is following maybe 5,000 people might still get a decent yield of followers. However, it’s nothing compared to being one of the exclusive members of the 3-5 hundred followed club.

2. Wait

Again; simple. Within probably 15 minutes the followbacks will come pouring in from all over the world. A 14 year old in Idaho, 18 year old from Spain, or possibly even a cunning 72 year old inmate who bribed the security guard with his meals for an iPhone.


“If you follow they will come”

-James Earl Jones (Field of Dreams)

3. Unfollow ASAP

Preferably before anyone gets a chance to shoot their shot in the DMs.

At the end of the day it is really not that devious of a scheme. If all goes according to plan those tricked will be left following a stunning girl who will grow her Instagram page a couple hundred followers a day until she ultimately gains enough status to encourage rich millennials to live in a hurricane tent with no food or water in the Bahamas.

I hope this was helpful. Stay woke out there 👀



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