Presidents Day is one of my favorite holidays. It’s a day to remember all the wonderful leaders of our country, their remarkable achievements, and of course I am completely making all of this up but thank not only God but Jesus for this day off.
The real reason for this post is whilst meandering through old files on my 15 inch MacBook Pro (to brag) I stumbled across some gems in the form of high school video projects.
Now, I know what you might be thinking:
Talking about high school still? What a pathetic loser!
And you would not be wrong in doing so.
But if you have nothing else to do on this fine Monday holiday sit back, relax, and enjoy:
U.S History Junior Year
Back in my day, it used to be pretty commonplace for teachers to give homework over break with the reason being to keep student’s brains from turning to complete mush. Needless to say; I despised this. Luckily, parents started to complain (as they do) that kids were doing too much work over their vacation prompting our school to a no homework over break policy. I thought it was smooth sailing from that point on but one cunning teacher of mine assigned a project the day before the last day of break.
“Oh, start it tonight and I guess whatever you don’t finish…..”
“You’ll just have to do over break!”
I like to imagine this was the reaction in the teacher’s lounge at the telling of that move:
Long story short, I blew off the assignment until the last weekend before heading back to school. It was then that my Dad told me we would be going on a trip to New York to visit Times Square and I could bring along a friend I wanted. It took some convincing but I finally got the one and only John “The Brow” Agnitti to come with me. Unfortunately, (and my selective hearing may or may not have played a role in this) we didn’t wind up in New York.
We wound up in Newark, New Jersey
I have nothing against the fine people of Newark but now I was stuck in a worthless city, with someone who was questioning the decision of friendship, and a full-blown project due the next day.
It was the polar vortex of Sunday Scaries.
But, with the help of Victoria Justice’s “Make it in America” it culminated in one of the finest works of production in modern-day media:
Anatomy Workout Senior Year
This project was about filming a workout and using
scientific nerd language to describe the muscles in the body. I figured doing this for ten minutes or so would be boring as hell so I dragged my little brother down into the basement and threw him into the raging storm of swoleness and masculinity that is:
Another doozy from Anatomy that had me considering dropping out of school to pursue a career in “Anatomical Rap”:
“Your bones protect your organs, your bones let you move, your bones make all your blood cells, and your bones support YOU!”
Vice Presidential Campaign Video
After conquering what many called “The Everest of Suburban Mass” I cruised into an unopposed victory come election time.
Fun fact: this was actually filmed by my Mom.
Was the whole purpose of this blog to brag about how cool and edgy I was in high school? No. The whole purpose of this blog was to let people know I am funny, cool, and was edgy back in high school.
Enjoy the day off and let’s have ourselves a week.
EDITOR’S NOTE (MUST WATCH):
It came to my attention that I forgot the project that started it all. This video had zero to do with what we were singing/learning about but it was a class favorite.
“Dime Dime Cual!”
Spanish Sophomore Year: