Letters to Pat

The Letter:

Dear Pat,

I have been following you for quite some time now and want to first commend you on your impeccable wit and internet suaveness. For these reasons, I figure you are the best person to give advice about all things college.

I am an incoming freshman and my mind has been racing trying to figure everything out. What should I know about parties? What clubs should I join? Is the whole thing even worth it?

I know you’re probably spending the majority of your time fending off beautiful co-eds but if you can spare a few minutes to reply I would greatly appreciate it.


Concerned Freshman

The Response:

Dear Concerned Freshman,

First and foremost, thank you for your generous compliments. It is not easy being the voice for college students but if I don’t do it- who will?

As far as the specifics of your question:

Partying (If you’re a guy):

When I was heading into school last year I was ready to turn ‘Animal House’ into a modern reality. But after deciding not to rush a fraternity, I failed to study the ancient questions of “What’s your ratio?” and “Who do you know here?”.

Big mistake. (look for open windows)

Partying (If you’re a girl):

You’ll be fine.


If you’re a nerd:

Daily Collegian

If you’re a dummy:

Amherst Wire

If you’re a little bit of both:

nonamesnonumbers.com (Contact nonamesnonumbers1@gmail.com if interested)

Is the whole thing really worth it?

UMass mission statement:

The University’s mission is to provide an affordable and accessible education of high quality and to conduct programs of research and public service that advance knowledge and improve the lives of the people of the Commonwealth, the nation, and the world.”

Let me start by saying; I have loved a lot of things about college.

I love meeting all different kinds of people, I’ve taken some interesting classes, the social aspect is fun, and getting the opportunity to use a sweet radio studio is second to none.

But the price is outrageous.

Right now I’m looking at around $50,000 dollars in debt post graduation (and I’m lucky enough to have my parents helping me out).

A lot of advice from adults in terms of uncertainty around a career path entering college is “Oh don’t worry about it! You’ll figure it out!” followed by the all-time cliche “These are the best four years of your life!”. The latter part of the first quote is true; you will figure it out. The question becomes whether or not you will be facing $50,000+ of debt before you do.

I’m not saying this to be a debbie downer but rather because it is a harsh truth of the world we’re living in. I’m also not putting the blame on adults who say this because as we all know it was a “different time” when my parent’s generation went to school. I spoke with a UMass alumni this summer who told me tuition cost him $1,200 .

He’d be lucky to get textbooks now.

I honestly believe that if you take the “These are the best four years of your life!” advice then they will be; and that scares me more than anything- cause life can be pretty damn long.

So my sage wisdom with one whole year under my belt boils down to the four words so eloquently stated by modern day philosopher Wiz Khalifa:

“Work hard, play hard”

And hopefully things will work out.









NNNN is on Spotify

Warning: The following blog is filled with more sap than a giant sequoia  from the Pacific Northwest (shoutout Geography 220)

Despite the countless tweets making fun of them, it’s been a dream of mine to have my own podcast since as soon as I started listening to them back in middle school.

I had always assumed it was one of those things where people just show up at a studio one day and start talking in front of a microphone and that was all there was to it.

Don’t get me wrong; you can definitely do that. Only problem with that is in my humblest of opinions- it’s probably going to suck. This was made abundantly clear by my first attempt at cooking up some audio in the lab back in the first week of second semester.

I absolutely cringed listening back to episode one (and still do whenever I think about it). It’s no secret that I admire a lot of people in not only sports media but media in general (Pardon My Take, Joe Rogan, countless comedians, etc.). But as a result of that, it’s extremely hard not to compare yourself to the people at the top of the field right now and even harder to not sound like a knockoff version of other people’s show.

With that being said, I think the show has vastly improved since day one with the help of Tom, our guests, and lots of people behind the scenes who have helped out a ton with teaching me about the actual producing of a podcast. I’m happy with the progress made but also see so many opportunities for growth in the future (consistent guests being a main priority).

Ok Pat- get to the goddamn point.

Now that I feel as though the podcast has established itself as more than just a weekly screw around session (although I do like screwing around) I’m excited to say that the ‘NNNN’ podcast is now available for streaming on Spotify. I realize that not everyone has the app (and am hoping to get it on iTunes soon enough) but I would greatly appreciate if you could spare a follow and maybe click a couple several 10-15 times upon the release of every new episode.

I joke about our “thousands” of listeners almost every week but the honest truth is that there has been steady improvement from each episode to the next. I want to thank everyone who has been listening, liking, commenting, sharing, and everything in between because it helps a ton.

And for the haters? (of which there are many)

We’re not leaving.