Worst Places to People Watch

I love people watching.

Can you possibly think of a better way to spend your time then to simply sit and judge  (judging is bad I don’t know if you heard) assess every single person walking by? I can’t.

With that being said, in order to become a master in the art of people watching you have to understand the do’s but more importantly the don’ts of how to partake in the modern day most dangerous game.

I’m assuming everybody is busy today (because I am) so- let’s get right into it.

The Gym:

Honestly, the gym is probably the worst place to people watch and I’ll explain why. For starters, let’s think about people watching someone in better shape than you. You might think “But Pat! I’m looking at them to use their Olympic physique to motivate me! It makes me feel a little bad that I’m not there yet but like you said a little shaming is important for growth; right?”

All valid points my friend, but this isn’t about you it’s about the fact that if you are caught staring into the soul of a physical specimen you are probably going to come off as a bit of a creep (and maybe even face a harassment case in 25 years)

Ok, fair enough, but what about the flip side? Can’t I look at the fatties and feel a little better about myself? I know it’s wrong- but it seems so right.

No, don’t be a prick and do the socially acceptable move of only staring at yourself in the mirror. It’s not vain if it’s done righteously.

Outside a Jehovah’s Witness Convention:

Once you lock eyes- it’s too late.

Children’s Beauty Pageants:

These are just the first three that come to me off the top of my head and I’m sure there are many more that will strike me at 1 o’clock in the morning giving me a sense of regret only comparable to that of when you go for a handshake when someone else goes for a dap:

That definitely has never happened to me.

Have a tremendous Tuesday.


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