Sam Darnold Having Mono is the Most Jets Thing Ever

By: Jake Sockett

Yesterday morning, the Jets announced that Sam Darnold will be missing at least the next two games against the Browns and the Patriots due to mono. 

Talk about a rough break, right? I mean, for the New England game Darnold sitting out doesn’t really matter because it’s the Pats. Darnold is good but he’s not at a level where he’s going to win them that game. But the game against the Browns? That’s real tough. Sammy D and the Boys (which is now the only way the Jets should be referred to) would’ve had an okay chance against a Cleveland team that just looked plain bad against the Titans. 

But I’m not here to preview the Browns and the Jets, because it doesn’t matter who wins that game (the Browns have to win that game, by the way). I’m here to laugh at the Jets because, simply put, this is a funny situation. It’s not like Darnold’s season or career is over, far from it. He’s just got mono. This is such a Jets thing to happen. Let’s not forget the time Geno Smith had to miss at least six weeks after linebacker IK Enemkpali broke Smith’s jaw after punching him in the face.          

So, congrats Sam. I hope the kissing or the sip of someone else’s drink was worth it for you, because it’s really been worth it for me. Waking up and seeing that headline was quite possibly the best part of my day. I’m not exactly itching to see more Trevor Siemian quarterback play though- that side of this story is the real tragedy. 

The lesson to be learned for all you future NFL QB1s out there is to never, under any circumstances, kiss anyone that you don’t know for sure doesn’t have mono. Maybe if Darnold took after Brady and only kissed his wife and children, he’d be on the field this Sunday lighting up the Browns defense. 

 Well, probably not, but it sure beats having mono. #SaveSammyD



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