The Most 1 Sided Battles in Human History

By Gerry Sullivan Twitter: @gerrysullivan12 and @UltSportsBlogs

The Patriots season has been a major beatdown so far. Sunday was easily their worst showing of the season and they still handled the Jets with ease. Last week’s game against the Dolphins was a beatdown. And the week before against the Steelers? Beatdown. Next week is against the 3-0 Bills and whether or not that game will be a competitive one remains to be seen.

Those 4 teams like to consider themselves rivals of the Patriots, but anyone with a brain knows that those are 1 sided battles. It got me thinking; what are the most 1 sided battles in the history of humanity?

So, without further ado, your official list of the most 1 sided battles in human history:

The NFL vs. The Patriots

I just talked about it and it’s an easy choice. In 19 years? 6 Super Bowls. 9 AFC Titles. Two separate dynasties. The best coach in history. The best quarterback in history. You know the drill.

Notre Dame vs. Teams That Are Actually Elite

The latest chapter of this fabled battle had a familiar ending on Saturday night with “powerhouse” Notre Dame shockingly dropping a nationally televised game against a top ranked team. Notre Dame is now just 1-19 vs top 5 teams in the last 20 seasons. Sheesh. But don’t worry, they’ll be ranked in the top 10 again by the beginning of next year.

Napoleon vs. The Russians

The French revolution- a time of rising French power across Europe led by the little general Napoleon Bonaparte. That is, until Napoleon opted to march into the Russian winter to try and take them on. He was bounced harder than a 16-year-old trying to get into a bar and got the boot off the French throne. Tough look for the little guy.

PS: Just googled it and it turns out Napoleon was 5’7. That’s not even that short. Weren’t people shorter in the 1800’s? Why did this guy get such a bad rap?

Hand Sanitizer vs. Germs

Maybe the most one-sided battle on this list. Despite the fact that hand sanitizer kills 99% of germs, they can never truly get that last 1%. Before you know it, you’re touching everything in sight, spreading your germs across the world. Nobody owns anything more than germs own hand sanitizer. Germs own the world and there is absolutely nothing hand sanitizer can do about it.

2014 Canton Freshman Basketball vs. Franklin

Nothing to see here. Not even sure why this one made the list. Might as well end it at this point since we’re just throwing things that shouldn’t be here on the list of one sided battles.


Editor’s Note:

In regards to the last section (for all the non-02021 readers) …

Anyone who was on that team should never be allowed to so much as LOOK at a basketball again. #Couldn’tBeMe

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